The Testimony From The World Of Medicine, Dr. Corey C. Cavillator.

From the pages of The Journal of World Medicine, July, 2005.

DEDICATED DOCTOR WHO DEVELOPED PILL TO COMBAT PEEVISH INGRATITUDE TOUTS CLASSIC
WELFARE FRAUD GAME AT NOBEL AWARDS BANQUET

By Dr. Victor Frankenstein
Associate Science Editor

Stockhom, Sweden. It has been said that, as with eggs, there is no such thing as a real smart or real dumb doctor: their brains are either fried or scrambled. Not so with the new breed of hard-boiled M.D. as epitomized by Corey C. Cavillator, the inventor of the pill which has made the bane of peevish ingratitude a thing of the past. Thanks in part to Dr. Cavillator, we won’t have to listen anymore to the cynics who say that doctors are like granola—after you sift through the fruits and nuts, all you find are the flakes.

Peevish ingratitude has long been known as part of a critical childhood syndrome which, if unchecked, leads to the nuisance of full-blown adult liberalism.

Dr. Cavillator achieved his great breakthrough without any kind of wasteful government grant. This dedicated man worked under the most difficult circumstances solely for the benefit of humanity. I remember being struck by the poverty of his working conditions. When I first walked into his laboratory over a year ago, I saw a lit cigar butt on the floor. I stepped on it, and a few seconds later Dr. Cavillator hollered out, “Hey, who turned off the heat?”

Dr. Cavillator first became concerned with the problems associated with peevish ingratitude about four years ago. One evening as he walked home from his laboratory, a group of pre-puberty boys, utterly insensitive to the medical progress he was making for the benefit of all people everywhere, began to taunt him. One of them said, “Hey, Doctor Cavillator, your mother is like a birthday cake. Everybody gets a piece.” Then another one said, “Yeah, and your mother is like a bus: men getting on and off all night.” And still another ungrateful youth yelled out, “Hey Doctor Cavillator, your sister is like a door knob. Everyone gets a turn.”

Instead of reacting in anger, Doctor Cavillator threw all his energy into producing the pill he named Impedimentum, now located so conveniently at your local pharmacy.

The Impedimentum label does warn, however, that the purchaser, when intending to slip the pill to an adult, should not mistake self-righteous indignation for peevish ingratitude or the consequences could be disastrous. A rat afflicted with the former but treated every day with Impedimentum for the latter, became extremely paranoid, refusing to trust even the most considerate and well-meaning laboratory technicians.

At the Nobel Prize for Medicine award ceremony, Dr. Cavillator said, “The world’s attention should not be on me, but rather upon the great welfare game, ‘Public Assistance: Why Bother Working for a Living?’ This game is very effective in rehabilitating lingering liberals—the most important and noble cause of our time.”

Dr. Cavillator Prepares a Youth to Take His Pill
GOOD-BYE PEEVISH INGRATITUDE

Also see: Testimony from the World of Religion and the World of Science >>